I Put my Special Needs Son Back on the Bus After Being Bullied
I never thought after he told me someone hit him that I would be watching him climb those stairs and go back to where the bullying started.
Let me back up to when it started. In September, we received everything for him to get on the bus, all the information about the bus number, where to stand and his pretty little bus pass that said his name for the first two weeks. Everything was okay for awhile until my mom called me one weekend.
“Korey said someone hit him on the bus”
I was frantic because he never mentioned this to us. “Did he say who? why? Was he touching them? What happened?” Everything a mom would be asking when heard that her son with special needs was hit.
Over the course of that weekend, we heard a ton of different stories from Korey. See that’s the problem with a 4-year-old, add on top of that autism and sensory processing disorder and you have a story concocted by Cirque De Soleil.
Finally, on Sunday, I had the real story. A boy was sitting across from Korey and somehow they ended up kicking each other, Korey thought it was playful but to the boy I’m sure he was annoyed. Then he kicked Korey very hard and Korey stopped and the kid said some not so nice words to him, a friend of Korey’s on the bus stuck up for him and told the kid to stop and leave him alone.
Now this story may seem like I really need to get over myself and kids will be kids. Yes they will be, but Korey is still working hard on a lot of his social skills and there are more chances that these things can happen and Korey could end up being seriously hurt. He doesn’t understand that people can be mean, when something happens he already blames it right on himself (just like me).
We never knew about this until 2 weeks later and when he told us that we decided it was time to pull him from the bus and drive him ourselves. That was working wonderfully until his father got a job working overnights and now it’s a hassle for him to wake up out of a sleep, take him to school and then try to fall back asleep.
That’s why I’ve been quietly talking about the bus again, while my heart is doing backflips and I just want to find that kid still and ask him what his problem is.
Korey has never seemed affected by the bus incident, I had to tell him over and over that people don’t do that. It’s not nice to hurt people and also that he needs to keep his body to himself. After all I don’t expect the kids on the bus to understand if I said “Hi everyone! This is my son Korey, he has Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder and sometimes has a hard time communicating, keeping his hands to himself and sitting still. Please be nice”. That’s not happening.
Counting on the bus driver is also not happening. Listen I get it, unless there is an all-out brawl, the bus driver is really concerned about getting everyone to school while I’m more worried about everyone playing nice.
I let Korey back on the bus after being bullied because I’m the one with the fear. He didn’t feel it necessary to even tell me about it! It was just casually mentioned to Grandma. Dad and I are the ones who worry if someone will hurt him or make a mean comment, not Korey.
Korey just wants to be a big boy and sit on that bus, it’s as simple as that. Holding back my autistic son because of my fears will only make things worse in the future and in short possibly give him more anxiety and make him like me. I don’t want him to fear people, to be afraid to go outside or be friendly. I want him to live.
Have you had fears when you child rides/rode the bus?